I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
