This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
