we're blogging at a bar
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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