Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
4 words: hood of his car
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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