If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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