after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize