Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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