Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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