Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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