there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize