I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
