What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
smell my finger.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
