in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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