win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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