I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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