like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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