check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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