Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
where am i from again
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
