I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
