I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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