is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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