i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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