Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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