I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
