I didn't shave. On purpose
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
