there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
