I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
