One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
