Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize