when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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