White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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