i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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