I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
