i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
