I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
