I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
