he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Let's paint friendship bongs
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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