I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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