i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
