The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
