So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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