I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
