so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
