i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i love accidental penises.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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