i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
