there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize