He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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