She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
nutella sex= disaster
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
