He kissed a someone with a penis
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
