True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
