oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
