Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
