And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
