Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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