this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
