I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
