Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
