Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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