Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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