I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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