Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
my poor anus
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
