dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
