Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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