On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
