i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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