dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize